Feeding Liam

It has been my biggest challenge ever, as I fully expected it to be. Breastfeeding was the one thing I was really nervous about during pregnancy. Maybe it was a good thing, because I didn't have much time to think about labor as I spent most of my time researching proper latching techniques and feeding positions. While everything did its part in helping me, it was still extremely overwhelming for the first few weeks. I knew babies ate every 2 hours or so at that age. I did not know that Liam would take 45 minutes to an hour to finish one meal and then I would change his diaper and soothe him to sleep for the next 15 minutes or so and wake up 45 minutes later to feed him again. Add to that the many aches and pains of a body adjusting to mommyhood and nursing and there were many days I said I just wanted to switch to formula. But then I'd think about it and I realized formula wouldn't change anything. I'd have to be waking up AND mixing bottles in the middle of the night. Weaning had its own problems and pains attached to it. The grass really wasn't greener on the other side. I decided I wouldn't quit on my worst day. I'd cry through it. I'd let Motrin and Lanolin be my best friends. But I was going to make it to 6 weeks. And so Liam and I made it to 6 weeks. In just 6 weeks he had become so much more efficient and now at 8 weeks, it feels good to have this ultimate calming weapon. Nursing is like tranquilizer for a distressed baby. I rejoice when Liam falls asleep during dinner and all I have to do is transfer him to his bouncer and he'll sleep for the next 5 or 6 or sometimes even 9 hours. But my favorites are when in the middle of nursing he'll break into a big smile and then go back to business.

Some of the best advice I got about breastfeeding was to set daily or weekly goals. To just make it through 1 more day. To make it my goal to breastfeed for 1 week. Then 2 weeks. Then 6weeks and so on. Somebody else told me to remember that breastfeeding is a committed relationship. Things can go very badly but that's not the day to walk out on it. To put it in that perspective helped me a lot. On the flip side, I know a relationship can get abusive. And there are times when breastfeeding is not the best option if it compromises the health of the baby.

For me, it truly has been a relationship with its many ups and downs. My goal now is to make it to 6 months and then... we'll see!